Cautiously Optimistic

So we're in the process of getting a new server up and running at work. For the last month or so, we've spent a small fortune on IT support because things keep crashing, breaking, burning up, etc. Once the new server is up, we'll be working on getting new practice management software. All this is a nightmare for my job position, since I'm supposed to be our IT liaison and yet somehow I'm always out of the loop.

On top of that, the other person who does Data Entry just turned in her two week's notice. I don't know what they plan to do with the position, because once again I'm out of the loop. I'm concerned that they'll blindly throw someone into the position at random or that they'll ask me to work 6 days on shorter hours. Either way, this could end up being bad.

Something snapped in me last week. The day after my coworker gave notice, I felt like everything was crumbling. My anxiety medication couldn't keep up. A day later, the day our new server arrived, I was walking around with a huge smile on my face. It's not stopped. I thought maybe I had just had a temporary respite, but ever since then I've been calm, collected, cautiously optimistic. Somehow, I forgot to be stressed.

To be completely honest, I'm a bit of a basket-case. I work well under pressure, and ever since I discovered that I feel like I've been hanging on to more stress than is realistic. Do what you're good at, right? I am so very good at worrying. Frankly, the feeling I've had for these past few days is strange. Everything is fine. Normally I'd be in full-blown panic mode right now, but instead I'm cheerful and smiling. It's as though I finally realized just how good I've got it, though I've really known all along.

I live in a nice apartment in a great community. There are mountains and/or water no matter which way I look from here. I have a job which, while stressful, allows me to spend my day surrounded by amazing people and adorable cats. At the end of the day I go home to my boyfriend who makes me happier than I've ever been. I'm close to family. I have time to cook, to read, to go out and exercise.

I always knew these things. I don't know what happened that finally let me enjoy them, but I'm glad it did.

No Public Money for Private Arenas? No Problem!

I've tried not to talk about this, but I finally have come to a point where I can't help myself. To those who would not have this arena come to Seattle, I ask why not? At a time when we desperately need new revenue sources for the city, for the state... when we desperately need new jobs... why not?

I understand the concern about public monies. The vast majority of the money for this project is coming from a private source, including guaranteeing any cost overruns. There will be public money involved. I won't deny it. That public money comes in the form of taxes on ticket sales (which won't exist without the arena) and property taxes on the arena (which obviously won't exist without the arena). They're trying to guarantee a large revenue stream, as well, because this building is not getting built unless an NHL and NBA team are both coming to Seattle.

What I don't understand is the statement about private arenas. I can only assume that people are completely glossing over the fact that the building itself will be owned by the city. This is a gift, and quite a generous one. When the NHL and NBA aren't using the arena it can be used for conventions, concerts, cultural events, and more. Why wouldn't we want this? It's a great way to attract more people to the city. More people in the city equals more people paying taxes on hotels, on meals, on things that will go to all those public programs that you're worried about taking money from.

I swear, if I could donate money directly to this project, I would. I certainly intend to fully support it by buying tickets as soon as possible. Please give me that chance.